How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

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Written By Jessica K. Springer

Tips for traveling with your dog or puppy. 


Price: $14.00 - $8.15
(as of Oct 03, 2025 07:01:06 UTC – Details)


The cats of America are under siege!
 
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.
For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country’s defense by helping to prepare our nation’s cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”
Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!

From the Publisher

A book for Purrtiots. Advice from Expurrts.A book for Purrtiots. Advice from Expurrts.

“Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”“Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”

“What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?”“What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?”

Don’t pawse for one second longer. Go talk to your cat!Don’t pawse for one second longer. Go talk to your cat!

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown
Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 4, 2016
Edition ‏ : ‎ Illustrated
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Print length ‏ : ‎ 144 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 045149492X
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0451494924
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.35 x 8.22 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #1,769 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #2 in Cat, Dog & Animal Humor #3 in Parody #19 in Fiction Satire
Customer Reviews: 4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 12,394 ratings var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });

Customers say

Customers find the book hilarious and informative, making it a great gift and stocking stuffer for cat lovers. Moreover, they appreciate its educational value, with one customer noting it’s particularly useful for fully educating the whole household. However, the book’s satire receives mixed reactions, with some appreciating its satirical approach while others view it as hate speech. Additionally, the pacing receives mixed reviews, with some finding it disturbing.

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