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Read as Henry the Cat rants and raves about allergies, babies, catnip, hairballs, tuna, zombies, cucumbers, dogs, texting, tweets, driving and his extensive blueprints as he pretends to plot to kill his owner.
What others are saying:“The book is litter-ally the best comedic tail!” -Kitty Post
“It’s a Claw-some read.” – New York Kitty Times“I’m Paw-sitive you will love it!”- Library Kitty Journal“‘Paws’-itively one the cutest tails.” – Catterific Tribune‘Con-cat-ulations, Henry! The book is a riot!” – Catago Sun“Meow-velous!” -Cat Observer“This mew-ment only comes once in a lifetime!” -Chatham Kitty News
Henry…these are all fake magazines and newspapers. It’s appalling.
It’s not a-paw-ling. It’s hiss-terical.
No, it’s lying. Just outline a reason why a reader would want to buy your book but stick to the facts.
I am awesome! This is why you need this book, Reader!
You can’t just tell the reader how wonderful a cat you are and expect them to buy the book. You need to persuade them
Don’t you mean purr-suade? Well, I am not just a cat. I won’t admit to that! I’m a watcher, a protector, a vile creature detector. I. Am. Henry. A standing ovation, purr-ease, for my extraordinary performance of my particularly high acclaim.
Wow, you are so dramatic. I agreed to help you write your book, but it doesn’t mean that I want to listen to you drone on and on about yourself.
Well, can you do better, Michael?
Let’s see. How’s this: Don’t Pro-cat-stinate. Scoop up the story and let it whisker you away!
That’s a cat-astrophe.
I thought it was clever.
Don’t you mean Claw-ver.
Oh, sheesh. Don’t worry, reader. I won’t let him write entirely in cat puns, even if he threatens to pee in my shoe.
Ooo, I should totally incorporate cat puns! That would be paw-some! Great idea, Michael. Paw-five!
Download now to read a brilliantly whimsical, but surprisingly informative rants and raves from the point of view from a terribly nosy cat with cattitude. He has much to say about Zombie Apocalypses, how many legs one must have to be cute and where you must hide gross things to optimize your watching pleasure Read as Henry the Cat rants and raves about allergies, babies, catnip, hairballs, tuna, zombies, cucumbers, dogs, texting, tweets, driving and his extensive blueprints as he pretends to plot to kill his owner.
ASIN : B06XTZKN64
Accessibility : Learn more
Publication date : March 23, 2017
Language : English
File size : 23.7 MB
Simultaneous device usage : Unlimited
Enhanced typesetting : Not Enabled
X-Ray : Not Enabled
Word Wise : Not Enabled
Print length : 136 pages
Page Flip : Not Enabled
Grade level : 9 – 12
Reading age : 13 – 18 years
Best Sellers Rank: #1,292,466 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store) #228 in Teen & Young Adult Humor Nonfiction eBooks #401 in Teen & Young Adult Humorous eBooks #1,326 in Comedy (Kindle Store)
Customer Reviews: 5.0 5.0 out of 5 stars (3) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });